Sexism Disguised as Flattery

This week I’m going to talk about benevolent sexism. Benevolent sexism is (very basically) sexism disguised as care or consideration. It usually takes the form of men wanting to protect women's "delicate" or "fragile" sensibilities. And it is particular harmful and dangerous because most men don’t realize they’re being sexist, and many women probably don’t see it either!

Hostile sexism is easy to spot. It is flagrant comments and beliefs that women are less capable and qualified than men. Benevolent sexism, although well intentioned, is equally harmful, possibly even more harmful because women don’t readily recognize it as sexist. If a man were to tell a woman outright that he didn’t think she could do a certain task or job that might rightly make the woman angry and/or resentful. However, if a man’s actions or words are conducted in such a way as to make it seem that he wants to protect a woman, a woman is likely to be flattered.

An important point here is that benevolent sexism enforces traditional gender roles that reinforce men’s power and thus promotes inequality between men and women.

Consider this example from my own life: I was at a Philadelphia Eagles football game with my uncle. If anyone knows anything about the Eagles it’s that the fans are known to be rowdy, rude, and aggressive (we are notorious for booing Santa Claus, although my sources who were at the game say that incident was misinterpreted). After a bad play, my section erupted in loud jeering and cursing. My uncle screamed out "Hey! Watch the language! There's a lady here!" His intention was to have everyone be polite and well behaved around me so as to not offend or upset me. However, the implication is that I am offended by or can't handle foul language. (And anyone who knows me knows I have a pretty foul mouth myself and can jeer with the best of them at football games.)